We Have a Problem...

Select: All, Read, None

Show: AllUnread

Between Aaron Rift and You

Andrew Johnson May 1 at 11:32am 
 

Dear Mr. Rift,

Hi there. You might not know me personally, but I’m sure you’ve at least heard of my greatness. I’m a very important columnist over at TJR. So how are things going? Is life treating you well? I have to be honest I really don’t give a shit, but when one messages a person they have never met, usually some pleasantries must be discussed.

Something I Need to Get Off My Chest...

Been a while since I've written at the ol' blog. Ever since I've moved over to TJR I've stopped updating this site. Today I'm going to change that, mostly because this is something I don't want to burden John with having on his site, but also because it's also an issue I've taken pretty seriously, and I want it to come from me, not a comedian at a wrestling website.

Bullying has been a persistent problem throughout history. I always thought that as we evolved as a society, this petty behavior would eventually be left behind for greater attributes. We have the technology at our disposal to make the world a better and safer place for all who inhabit it, but it seems all we’ve done is find new ways to harass and intimidate each other.

The 7 Most Unsuccessful Tag Team Break-Ups in WWE History

Once upon a time in the WWE there were things called tag teams. Not a random pairing of two single stars who have nothing better to do, but two persons who shared a common theme and goal. Today real tag teams are few and far between, mostly because WWE loves to break them up. The WWE believes that splitting a successful team will automatically create two individual stars. Here are seven instances where they failed miserably.

Sports Entertainment Weekly: 6 Types of Wrestling Fans

Professional wrestling fans have always gotten a bad rap. They are usually stereotyped as white trash inbreeding hicks whose only joys are NASCAR, and watching grown men beat each other up in their underwear. The truth is that there are many different kinds of wrestling fans in the world. Here are six types of fans that are worse than the redneck stereotype. Much worse.

Guest Blogger Simon Woods: A Breakdown of the 2009 Oscars

Before I begin, I wrote a guest blog over the summer wherein I attacked Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and in turn I was attacked by people sticking for such a work of genius. Several Razzie nominations later, and I will accept your apologies now. That bit of pettiness aside, I’d like to take a look at the movies nominated and weigh in on how I think it will and should go (not usually the same). The big movie this year is Avatar. Technically this was one of the greatest movie making achievements ever. I will get into my admiration and criticism of this movie later, but I want to acknowledge the sheer achievement that this movie is. Also, by the time the Oscars hit, it will likely be the highest grossing movie ever. That is an amazing achievement. Does making money make a Best Picture? No, but that doesn’t disqualify it either. Let’s take a look at the other categories before Best Picture.

Sports Entertainment Weekly: Jan. 21, 2010-Jan. 28, 2010

This week, in Sports Entertainment...

WWE Wants Conan O'Brien to Host RAW

WWE has reportedly been tossing around the idea of trying to secure Conan O'Brien as guest host of a future edition of RAW. However, there is no word on whether he would even consider the role.

Vince, I know you like to use desperate, shameless celebrities to raise your ratings, but all they are good for is shilling their latest ventures on your show and screwing up the names of your talent. I don’t think Conan will go for this. He might be out of work right now, and his shows might have featured Vomiting Kermit, Preparation H Raymond and the Masturbating Bear, but he has some dignity.

My Version of the New Twilight Graphic Novel

Recently Stephenie Meyer announced she is launching a Twilight graphic novel series. As expected I took this as a personal insult. Stephenie Meyer has crossed a line that cannot be uncrossed, and pushed our feud into the realm of apocalyptic nightmares. I’ll admit I might have been a tad harsh when I reviewed her travesty she called a novel, and I might make the occasional joke at her expense, but I’ve never made it personal. Stephenie Meyer has now made it personal by dragging her greasy sausage fingers across the key boards to inscribe what will probably be the mecca of bullshit comic book writing.

She couldn’t be content with her stranglehold on the young-adult-soft core pornography-retarded-teenage girl market, so now she’s stepping into MY HOUSE. To be fair I’m not officially a graphic novel author yet, but it will become all the more difficult to break into the medium now that this abortion is in the works. In response to this outrages attempt to piss me off I went ahead and beat her to the punch. I wrote my own Twilight graphic novel, and I can honestly say it’s already better than whatever literary spermicide she was ready to unleash upon the world. While I’m looking for publishers, I’ve decided to give you all a special preview. Enjoy!

Viva La Coco

Last night Conan O'Brien ended his long NBC career with Will Ferrell in a wig and jamming out to "Free Bird." For me this was one of the more emotional and inspirational moments in television. For a man who has every reason to be angry and spiteful at a company that has lied to him and thrown his dreams in the gutter, he closed out his NBC tenure with class.

Sports Entertainment Weekly: Jan. 14, 2010-Jan 21,2010

This week, in Sports Entertainment…  

Jerry Springer to Host Raw

WWE.com has reported that Jerry Springer will be hosting the February 15^th edition of Monday Night Raw. When asked for comment, people around the United States nodded their heads and said “That sounds about right,” before going on with their day.

When asked why he was doing the show, Springer said, "Because they asked." Springer followed that comment by saying "I do stupid things!"

Hey Vince, Jerry Springer thinks hosting your show is a bad career move. I was going to try and come up with a punch line but I think the set up is funny enough.

Sports Entertaiment Weekly: Jan. 7, 2010- Jan. 14, 2010

I decided that instead of creating a new blog, i'll just merge the two into one, and save myself from having to maintain two sites. I'll still do other articles, but for the most part I'll be doing this.

So, without further ado,(adieu? adoo?)

This week, in Sports Entertainment...