Tuesday, January 26, 2010

My Version of the New Twilight Graphic Novel

Recently Stephenie Meyer announced she is launching a Twilight graphic novel series. As expected I took this as a personal insult. Stephenie Meyer has crossed a line that cannot be uncrossed, and pushed our feud into the realm of apocalyptic nightmares. I’ll admit I might have been a tad harsh when I reviewed her travesty she called a novel, and I might make the occasional joke at her expense, but I’ve never made it personal. Stephenie Meyer has now made it personal by dragging her greasy sausage fingers across the key boards to inscribe what will probably be the mecca of bullshit comic book writing.

She couldn’t be content with her stranglehold on the young-adult-soft core pornography-retarded-teenage girl market, so now she’s stepping into MY HOUSE. To be fair I’m not officially a graphic novel author yet, but it will become all the more difficult to break into the medium now that this abortion is in the works. In response to this outrages attempt to piss me off I went ahead and beat her to the punch. I wrote my own Twilight graphic novel, and I can honestly say it’s already better than whatever literary spermicide she was ready to unleash upon the world. While I’m looking for publishers, I’ve decided to give you all a special preview. Enjoy!




  1. ROFL... As a fan of the BOOKS...NOT the movies, I can definatley say this is just..... ugh. lololol. Graphic Novel? gimme a break.

  2. I agree with Jenna. I am a fan of the book NOT the movies and this just about sums up everything in a much more creative way. I'm more likely to buy this than HER graphic shit.

  3. "a cross between Amy Winehouse and a cigar store indian."

    I think I just died of happiness. Thank you. Thank you so much.

  4. OMG! I'm a huge fan of the Twilight Series, but this was just hilarious!!!! Good Work!

  5. Amazing. I know nothing about comics adn i know that i really dislike that twilight bullshit, so i love your mockery of it!~!!