shIT: A Parody of Stephen King’s “IT”

Marvel's Infinity Saga Power Rankings: Every MCU Movie From Worst to Best

I don't know if you've noticed, but Avengers: Endgame is out and is making all of the money. It's also being aggressively slurped by everyone I know, and such slavish praise must be met with some aggressive criticism to balance it out. 

Oh, that's what that means.

But, since I enjoy Marvel movies (most of them, anyway) and I also enjoy making lists, why not just judge every Marvel movie individually in a 5,000 word article that will take me 7 days to complete? Since I'm a glutton for punishment and I crave your hatred like a baby boomer craves an "All Lives Matter" rally, here's the definitive list of every Marvel movie from worst to best. It's the only one of it's kind on the internet!

I await your scorn.

Down in the Knob: A Groundhog Day Docu-Venture

On February 2nd, 2019 (in the year of our lord), Andrew Johnson and Robert Hibbs disappeared near Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania while shooting a documentary. 

A few days later their footage was found. It is really dumb and not worth your time. That said, here is the most useful footage we could cobble together for the sake of posterity.

Diary of a Mad Black Bear

This past winter I decided to go hiking in the woods, and found an old diary. I thought the contents of it were quite strange, and I wanted to share them with you today.

***

March 18, 2007

Hibernation over. Very hungry. Looking over at female I spent winter with. She looked better in the fall. Feeling a little sick. Need to find way out without waking her. Finished rest of food, pooped on floor, went outside. Sniff air, smells of pine. I hate pine.

Female has woken up, complains about poop floor. I'm going to bite her.