Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Things You Shouldn't Do In Disney World

I'm back from Florida more buff and tan than ever. While I was on holiday at Disney World, I learned a few things about myself...little soul searching and all. Also I learned something about Disney World that I wasn't aware of when I initially booked the trip. Now I am not confirming nor denying that I gained first hand experience in the following moments, I could have just learned it through careful observation. Needless to say if I had known this before hand, I might have skipped the trip all together.

Basically, Disney does not want you to get drunk in their parks.

This is a hard task when you're over 21 and in Epcot for two reasons. One is the fact that Epcot is boring as fuck when you're over the age of 10. There are 3 sweet rides then its all science stuff. If I wanted to learn I'd watch Mr. Wizard...I was there to lose brain cells from fast reckless rides. The other reason is that they serve alcohol...




...and when you can get a different kind of beer in each fake country display Epcot has, it is very easy to get smashed.


From what I observed Disney is not a huge fan of people getting sloppy drunk in their park. They try to limit customers to two beers, but unfortunatly for them they have a huge loop hole. You only have to follow that rule if you keep trying to drink from the same vendor. So if you start in Mexico you could be shit faced by the time you hit Japan (they aren't that far apart). But, in case you do drink, do not under any circumstances, do any of the following:


DO NOT START SINGING IRISH DRINKING SONGS WHILE IN AN ENGLISH PUB.


DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HIT ON BELLE WHILE BEAST IS WATCHING.


And, most importantly, DO NOT TRY TO PICK A FIGHT WITH RAFIKI. He might seem nice and friendly while taking pictures with you, but never under estimate the fact that there is a chance the guy in the costume is a black belt in tae kwan do.


Not that I would know from personal experience or anything. Needless to say if you decide to drink while in Disney World there is a good chance you could get your ass kicked by a man in a monkey costume, and you'll end up spending the night in the drunk tank..


Also I advise everyone to not drop X and try to talk to trash cans.








It will freak you the hell out when they actually talk back.



Avoid these things and you should have a decent time.

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