This week, in Sports Entertainment...

WWE Wants Conan O'Brien to Host RAW

WWE has reportedly been tossing around the idea of trying to secure Conan O'Brien as guest host of a future edition of RAW. However, there is no word on whether he would even consider the role.

Vince, I know you like to use desperate, shameless celebrities to raise your ratings, but all they are good for is shilling their latest ventures on your show and screwing up the names of your talent. I don’t think Conan will go for this. He might be out of work right now, and his shows might have featured Vomiting Kermit, Preparation H Raymond and the Masturbating Bear, but he has some dignity.

Santino Marella to Star in Sitcom

WWE is currently working on a sitcom starring Santino Marella, Beth Phoenix, and Vladimir Kozlov. "In two weeks, we're filming the first three episodes," Santino said. "It will air at first on the dot com, then after that we will get t to a network television."

This headline is too hilarious to not be true. I like Santino, I really do. But, I have no desire to see the crazy shenanigans of a bad Italian stereotype, a larger than average female with little to no acting ability, and a mentally retarded Russian. I don’t know why Vince is so embarrassed of his WWE product that he has to constantly seek out new mediums to fail in (see XFL). I wish you luck Santino, but I think I'd rather watch a show about Viscera eating a plate of cheeseburgers for a solid hour.

Miz to Win the Royal Rumble?

It’s been reported that The Miz is currently leading’s pole asking fans to pick their favorite RAW superstar to win the Royal Rumble. The Miz seems to rank number one with 68% overall, beating the likes of Triple H and Shawn Michaels. At first this seems highly unusual for a mid-carder to be dominating in the poles, but it needs to be noted that The Miz’s mother has access to the internet. Most likely she got her bridge club to log on and vote for him continuously so he could get the confidence boost he sorely needs.

Issues at Rey Mysterio Autograph Signing

Reports indicate there were apparently problems at a Rey Mysterio autograph signing this week at a Chicago K-mart. The deal was that if you purchased $35 worth of WWE merchandise, you got an autograph with Rey. Apparently Mysterio arrived late and then had to leave for a WWE live event while lots of people were still in line. Things got out of hand as the enraged fans rushed him. In the interest of comedy I’m going to assume they got him confused with a rare Rey Mysterio action figure and were attempting to claim this very life like collectable.

TNA Expected to Go to Monday Nights Full Time

The story backstage in TNA is that the company will be moving IMPACT to Monday nights permanently, maybe as soon as March. This is big news, mostly because it is issuing in a new Monday night war. Wow, it’s only January and we’ve already repeated two television wars! Maybe we can throw in Jay Leno and have a battle of the played out and boring.

This new Monday night war is ten different kinds of unexciting. I fully expect the WWE to down play TNA’s impact (no pun intended) on the ratings, and continue to shove mediocrity down our throats. TNA isn’t looking like they could do any better, considering they are pushing Orlando Jordan and the Nasty Boys. If the RAW/Nitro war was like WWII, and Smackdown vs. RAW was the Civil War, then the RAW/IMPACT! war is shaping up to be as long and captivating as the Anglo-Zanzibar War.

What, you don’t get the joke? Look it up, lazy.

Chris Jericho and The Hurricane Arrested

WWE superstars Chris Jericho and Gregory Helms were arrested in Kentucky early Wednesday morning when police were called to a gas station and found the wrestlers "extremely intoxicated" and fighting. There is also a claim that Helms punched a woman who happened to be in the near vicinity of their drunken rampage. If Gregory Helms did indeed punch a woman, he clearly did so after Jericho encouraged him to pop her one for running her mouth.

Helms might get punished for this, but he's the friggin Hurricane, so they really can't do anything worse than they already have. Not Jericho, though. That dude is bullet proof. God, I love Jericho. He's awesome in the ring, he's the best on the mic, and he doesn't put up with a woman's bullshit. And, he doesn't get punished for it! He's more manly than Bruce Willis and a shark riding a tandem bike through a flaming building.
Smell ya later,