Thursday, March 5, 2009

My Big Gay Rant

I love gay people.

I'll let you process that for a moment. Whenever I say that to people I usually get one of three reactions:

Reaction 1: Roll of the eyes, and usually something said like, "You know it's a sin right?"

Reaction 2: They casually smile and say something like, "Oh yeah, me too. I have a (some kind of obscure relative) that's gay, and I'm totally okay with it."

Reaction 3: They just stare at me, then say something along the lines of, "...So you're a faggot now?"

I'll address all of these reactions separately:

Reaction 1: Yes, I'm aware that the according to the Bible, homosexuality is a sin.

Reaction 2: That's very nice that you have a relative that's gay, but are you telling me you are okay me loving them or are you okay with them being gay?

Reaction 3: No, I'm not a faggot.

Glad we got that out of the way. Now as much as I love proclaiming my love for gay and lesbian individuals, (I love you silly bastards), there is something I need to get off my chest. Most of you who know me know what my belief system is. For those of you who do not, I read Jesus Christ's blog.

I wish the Bible was like this.

Yes, I believe in God. But, what I don't believe in is the bigotry that most Christians are labeled with. Just because you believe there is a God that doesn't mean you hate all gay people. But, I really don't blame gay people for thinking this. Lord knows there have been enough douche bags who have tried to make this the standard for years.

Douche bags like Jerry Falwell.

I'm pretty sure this is what Jabba the Hutt would look like if he were human.

Jerry Falwell has made it his personal quest to tear down the gay community. His claims range from the absurd to down right insane. He has openly attacked Ellen Degeneres (the most adorable little lesbian I've ever seen), said that AIDS is "God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals" and, he's even gone after the Teletubbies. That's right, Jerry Falwell is the guy that outed Tinkie Winkie.

I think he needs some matching shoes to go with that purse.

Jerry Falwell claims that Tinkie Winkie is a walking, talking, homosexual terror. He has been quoted saying,

"He is purple- the gay pride color; and his antenna is shaped like at triangle - the gay-pride symbol...role modelling the gay lifestyle is damaging to the moral lives of children."

Are you fucking kidding me.

I don't know what kind of kids you went to school with Jerry Falwell, but when I was a little Johnson I knew which little boys in my class were going to end up majoring in theatre. They were the boys that hung out with the girls and would jump rope instead of play flag football. Nothing wrong with that, but I assure you that they didn't do those things because of the power of Tinkie Winkie's handbag and triangle head.

But, the absolute worst thing he said about the gay community is...shit I'll just let you read it:

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle...I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"

What? What is he talking about...what happened?

Oh yeah, he's talking about September 11th.

I'll let you soak that in for a second.


I have have no words for this comment. I have no idea how someone who claims to preach love and acceptance can say shit like this and get away with it. It's beyond personal beliefs now, its down right prejudice. And, he's not the only person whose said things like this. There have been many pastors, senators, fucking PRESIDENTS...

...not pointing any fingers...

...people in places of power, who have openly bashed gays and lesbians on major platforms. It's completly unbalanced too. The homophobes have these heavy hitters, and who do the gays have to speak for them?

They have this C list jack-off.

It's this way of thinking, this open bigotry, that needs to stop. You don't win people to your cause by building up walls and telling them they're going to hell. I wish more Christians I know would be as accepting as the gay people I know. I'm sick of this shit people. I'm tired of having to defend my stance on homosexuality every time I go to a bible study. I'm sick of having to defend my personal beliefs every time I hang out with my gay friends. It's getting really old.

I'm more upset about the way Christian's treat gays than anything gay people could say about Christians. Stop with the protests, when have they ever worked? I guarantee this conversation has never happened:

Christian Ass: "Hey there faggot! You're going to hell!"

Gay Dude Who Likes It In The Ass: "Really? Why?"

CA: "Because, you like wieners and balls in your face!"

GDWLIITA: "Well golly, I didn't know that! Will you help me quit being gay?"

CA: "Sure thing, lets go to the church where we can demoralize you and make you hate yourself until you give your life to Jesus!"

GDWLIITA: "Oh boy!"

That shit doesn't happen. Usually when a "Christian" calls someone a faggot he either starts a heated debate or gets jacked in the face.

So in closing I just want to reiterate to the gay community, please do not label all Christians as gay bashers. Just because some of us are intolerant assholes doesn't mean we all are. You don't like stereotypes, and neither do I. Remember, I love you guys and gals. I love you till my heart bleeds purple triangles.

I'm just not IN love with you.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.


  1. Just so you know I was a girl who liked to jump rope and play capture the flag. And in turn I'm majoring in musical theatre. I'm not a lesbian, but I love gay people. yay christian people who loves them gays!